Okay, I'll start with the confession - my plan to read the Bible in 90 days crashed and burned. Seriously, it got ugly. I am still kinda reeling about all that's going on in my marriage, and there were some days that waking up and getting out of bed took all the energies I had to expend. Honestly, the very air around me hurt. (I'm sure you'll hear me repeat that again, as the story unfolds here.)
So I was in no condition to take on the task of reading through the word of the Lord in 90 days. Oh, I tried. I knew any effort would be blessed, so I attempted to keep pace, but it wasn't happening. My mind would go back to my husband's betrayal - "How could you? After you promised? Why?" - and I would lose my focus on anything else.
That's not to say I won't attempt this challenge again. It's a new year, after all, and there's plenty of time. Now, however, is not my time. I still want to immerse myself in the Word, but I have to do it at a less taxing pace.
And so I'm starting a different challenge today. This is the 50 day plan detailed to the book, Addicted to God. The cover promises "50 days to a more powerful relationship with God." Oh, I so need that right now.
Today is day one - An Attitude of Thankfulness. Today's questions asked the difference of being thankful for your circumstances and being thankful in your circumstances, as we are called to both. A really good question for me right now....I think I'm grateful (though never grateful enough) for my circumstances. My life, a job, a good family, some true miracles, a home...these are all God's blessings, and I am truly thankful that I have been on the receiving end, when I know so many have so much less.
But being thankful in my circumstances? Well, not so easy. Of course, the Lord isn't saying that I should be thankful for what happened ("Thank you, God, that my husband decided to pursue another woman") but that, even in these circumstances, I should be thankful. Yes, even thankful for the pain that has come to me. After all, I trust in my Lord and know He is with me no matter what is happening in my life. For that, I give thanks, even through my tears.
As the worship song says, "Though the journey has been hard, I will confess your goodness, God, I still believe...."